One on One is important no matter what your age

Having spent some amazing quality time with Leandra last weekend, I came to the sad realisation that Audra and I hardly ever get a block of time just for us.  When I was on maternity leave it was easy. We would bundle into the car, drop Leandra to school and then the day was ours.  We would go to the park for a walk, or to Mainly Music to sing and wiggle together.  We would go to coffee groups and SPACE afternoons.  There was singing and dancing, talking and playing.  There were also plenty of cuddles, tickles and raspberries.


While I do my best to do these things with her when we disappear for nappy changes on the weekend, it's not the same.  So I jumped at the opportunity to go to a Open Day for Gingerbread Cottage today (her home-based care is through them), just me and her.  We said goodbye to Dad and Leandra and gleefully got in the car.  As we drove to the Open Day, I turned the radio on and we sang along.  She has always loved music and she will "sing" the songs we know and love.  Its so cute listening to her enthusiastic joyful sounds in the back. 

When we arrived, it was perfect.  The sun was shining, the wind was icy but we had a sheltered play area outside.  The BBQ was going and there were so many fun toys and art activities to occupy us.  First we played with some blocks.  I sat with her, showing her each one and talking about the colour, shape and texture.  Then we moved onto some plastic animals and wooden cars.  After discovering the play kitchen for a bit, she ventured outside with a plastic knife and a pink goblet and I followed.  She showed me all the play equipment, climbing the frames and moving about.  She became frustrated that she couldn't use the equipment and carry her kitchen treasures with her.  If only she had a third hand!  But a distraction arrived in the form of the woodwork table where she took great joy in the plastic milk bottle lids instead. 

At one point I noticed she was throwing one down, listening to the sound it made as it bounced off the concrete, and then throwing another.  The discovery and the joy on her face was priceless.  But these are the very things I miss.  I'm constantly amazed by her whenever I have this special time.  I just wish I had more of it.   After the throwing of lids lost its appeal, it was back inside for a game of painting.  While I'm sure the object of the game was to paint some paper, she got very red and then very pink herself.  As she started to feel tired, she started to snuggle into her trusty flannel.  We cuddled up in the book corner and I read the Three Little Pigs to her.  It was the traditional version where the wolf gets cooked in a pot.  Nice.

We played with the baby dolls a bit more and then said our goodbyes.  As we got into the car, I decided to feed her in the front seat.  The sun was warm and the cuddles were snuggly.  As she unlatched she sighed a happy sigh, smiled at me and even blew me an impromptu kiss.  Oh my, kid!  That's the kind of moment a mum wants to burn into her memory for all time.  I love you so much Paudrason.  You were well worth the wait. 

Saying Yes

I've always had a slightly permissive parenting style.  I prefer to pick my battles, so when I say "No", she understands it is for a good reason.  This doesn't lessen the blow of a "No" of course.  There are still the tears and tantrums, but I'm less likely to cave to her desires and she knows that.  However, when its an easy "Yes", a win-win if you will, then there is no battle to be had.

Sunday morning was a great example of this.  Leandra was bored and she wanted to do something.  She wanted to play, but just with me. "No Audras!" was her battle-cry.  I realised that the time we have had recently, just the two of us, had been sparse.  We were definitely due some big girl fun and silliness.  So I took a tired Audra upstairs for her nap. 

When I came back downstairs, Leandra asked if we could make cakes.  She asked in a way, that told me she was expecting a "No".  So I surprised and delighted her with a "Yes" instead.  I let her pick the cake flavour (banana) and I made the batter with her helping to pour the ingredients in and stirring the bowl.  This is something she hasn't been as interested in participating in recently, so it was nice to have her back in the kitchen with me.

Next I quietened the voice in my head screaming about the mess and batter wastage, and let her take turns with me filling the cupcake papers.  I'm not a clean freak by any means, but I get a bit antsy about mess when baking.  I realise this will never teach Leandra how to angle the spoon, or fill the paper evenly.  If I constantly step in, I'll be constantly stepping on her ability to do this herself.  So I stand back and praise when she gets it mostly in.

Once all the papers are filled, she asks if she can put the tray in the oven. My heart is in my throat.  She is 6 years old.  At some point she is going to have to operate this oven safely.  So I caution her on what not to touch and let her pull the oven door open and place the tray.  She is so careful and does so well.  But I'm fighting the urge to rescue her the whole 20 seconds that this is happening.  I say "well done" out loud. I'm pretty sure 80% of it was directed at her, 20% at me.

When they come out of the oven, I show her how to test if they are done or not.  We poke at them with our fingers and they bounce back to shape.  Then we make icing (lemon is requested) and wait for them to cool.  We then each take a small set of the cupcakes, the writing icing and a selection of lollies out of the cupboard and start decorating.  It's so much fun.  Each cupcake I do gets more and more elaborate.  I love being creative, and this was just what I needed.  Good, clean, artistic, fun. 

So much concentration

Inspection time

My treats. 

Some of Leandra's creations

Afterwards we share our cupcakes out to Audra and Doug.  Leandra selects the ones she wants each of us to eat.  I love that she really thinks about the person and what design they will like the best.  I like that she shows so much caring towards her dad and sister, and that she is proud of her work.  I like that I took the time to teach her some vital safety and baking tips, but most of all I liked the giggles, the cuddles and love that filled my kitchen on a rainy Sunday.  Thanks Leandra Panda for making my weekend so special XXX

Smile for the camera?

Silly Moore Girls

Learning to Float is something I have been coming to grips with for a couple of years.  When I had my first baby, I was determined - Sink or Swim.  I didn't ask for help.  I worried about the inconvenience I was causing if I couldn't look after baby while still cooking dinner, cleaning house, working 40+ hours a week.  Sink or Swim.

But when my second baby came along and with age, came a new wisdom.  You don't have to be perfect.  Your baby doesn't need perfect.  You don't have to swim.  If you are swimming you aren't taking everything in.  On the flipside, the opposite of swimming isn't always sinking. Sometimes you just need to tread water. 

So this is me.  Learning to float.  Here, I'll share recipes, fun things to do with the kids, thoughts on career, parenthood, and whatever else comes to mind.  I'm aiming at 1001 thoughts, but I'm aware life might get in the way - as it should.

Thanks for reading along.